Random Thoughts 04: Why Heartbreak is Important

Everyone has heard that old saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It turns out there may be some truth to it. Researchers have found that going through tough times can actually lead to personal growth and make individuals happier in the long run. So if you’re feeling down because of a recent breakup, don’t worry – you’re not alone. And more importantly, this phase will make you learn that Why Heartbreak is Important!

Everyone has dealt with heartbreak in some way, shape, or form. You’ve been dumped, you’ve been cheated on, you’ve had your trust violated. And it sucks. But here’s the thing: “If you never experience heartbreak, you’ll never know what it feels like to be truly loved“. You’ll never know what it feels like to have your entire world turned upside down for the better.

Why heartbreak is important?

Heartbreaks, when you go through one, feel like the most devastating thing to ever happen in the entire lifetime to you. It makes you feel uncomfortable, irritable, violated. You feel like crying and while sometimes you do, the other times it’s just point blank staring at the corner of a wall, while sitting couched up in a blanket under a darkness filled room, thinking to oneself – “Why me?”.

But as you grow from the phase, as you slowly level up, you realize that it was important. It had to happen. You realize why heartbreak is important and how it can be even be a good thing to develop your personality.

A heartbreak is important because it helps you understand the real world, the real you and life itself. A heartbreak teaches you about loss, but also about rising and finding the meaning of true love. A heartbreak is necessary to help you grow, nurture and shape up your personality.

“Love is giving someone an opportunity to destroy you, but trusting them not to” – I read this quote somewhere about a decade ago and it still weirdly fits! When you love someone, with all your heart, you give them everything you are and everything you have – including your soft, innocent and fragile heart.

Now they can either keep that heart wrapped around in a soft cloth and treat it the best they can, or they could kill it. It’s all a play of trust, right?

We know this when we fall in love, but we still do because, as my guy Ted Mosby once said –

“Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.”

How i met your mother

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How heartbreak can be a good thing?

Here are the top 5 reasons that explain why a heartbreak is important and can be a good thing and why everyone shall experience it once in life –

• A heartbreak means that you tried. And that is a big deal in the world we live in – trying. For something. For someone. No matter we win or lose, it’s the decision and choice of trying that makes us what we grow up to be, years later. Many people live their lives never even trying – to make the first move, to ask the person out, to explain their feelings to someone. You’re better than them because you tried. It might hurt more, but it’s worth it.

• A heartbreak helps you grow up. The first ever moment your heart breaks, it crashes you down and destroys every notion that you learnt while growing up watching the fairytales. You learn that love is not just about happiness and joy and the happily ever after but it also includes hurt, loss, fear and other treacherous things with it. We realize, love is not all perfect – it’s the notion of accepting the imperfectness of the person we’re in love with.

• A heartbreak makes you stronger. But only after bringing you down to the very depth – to your very knees. When love disappears suddenly, there’s a void that needs filling – and the heartbreak comes running to fill it. Once that happens, everything related to you – your friendships, career and life (in general) – starts to fall apart. But once you realize that you’ve fallen to the last depth of it all – to the rock bottom, that’s when you rise up. “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up“, right?

• A heartbreak makes you successful. I believe we all are a little broken and we all need to be to make sense of life and it’s challenges on our own. The world could mean different things to different people and a heartbreak could make you look at life and the future with more focus and compassion than ever before. It makes you self reliant and independent. And once that happens, you achieve success – at your own pace.

• A heartbreak opens a window. It’s weird, I know. But also true. When you have your heart broken into tiny little pieces by the one person you trusted the most, you seem to think that you are in a pitch black room with no doors. What you don’t realize is – there’s a window open. A window from where there’s a bright white light trying to come through. But it can only enter when you have fixed your broken heart. “It’s the broken corners of the heart from where the light gets in“.

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The different types of heartbreak

Heartbreaks could be of different types and also in different relationships. You need to understand that a heart can be broken by anyone we truly trust in – a friend, a partner, a family member. But to understand why heartbreak is important and why a heart breaks, you need to first figure out the different types of it.

It all depends on a few things wherein trust plays a wider role. We make relationships and friendships with trust. We share parts of ourselves with others – strangers we know nothing about. And they do the same thing as well. Trust and Connect is what builds up any relationship in the world. And when someone breaks that, it’s heartbreak.

Let’s talk about the different types of heartbreaks people have went through over the years –

“The first love”

The first time to experience love (for what you know it to be), the first time you feel something weird in your body, your mind is the first time you want to share your world with someone.

And when that someone breaks it off for whatever reason – that’s the first time you really experience a heartbreak in love. It feels like you have no purpose anymore, it feels like you can’t breathe (at times), you scroll through those memories and the photographs of you two time and again, you cry (while hiding it all as much as you can from people around), you act okay but you’re bad at it.

This kind of heartbreak changes you and makes you grow up. This kind of hurt is why heartbreak is important. It grabs you from that fairytale town and puts you on the real world. You slowly learn and adapt to it all – but it takes time.

Cheating on someone

The worst form or type of a heartbreak is when the other person cheats on you. You shared everything with them – from your childhood traumas to your recent college trip stories and you trusted them with your all. And what they did is to destroy everything that your love stood for.

This kind of a heartbreak is the worst because the people who do it – are the worst as well. The most scumbag of a person does this to another human being.

I, personally, am not even sure why people do this. What do they get by completely destroying a person who cared about them so much?

Long time buddies turned to strangers

Another worst kind of heartbreak occurs when you suddenly get ghosted – by the person you considered your best friend for years. Yes, friendships can break hearts too. As I said, anyone you trust has the opportunity to break it and destroy your universe (or half of it) by the snap of a finger.

When long time buddies suddenly stop talking or ghost you out – that makes you feel anxious – depressed and in a dark space.

Time heals all, but the memories keep coming at small time intervals to get you down on your very knees and think about all the great moments you spend together. But also as you grow, you realize that your self worth is much greater and beyond these relationships or friendships. Sometimes you need to grow from this notion.

Basically, heartbreaks can come from different types of connections and there could be different causes to them as well.

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How to move on from heartbreak? | How to fix a broken heart?

Every person is different, and every person’s way of dealing with a heartbreak could be different as well.

When a heartbreak occurs, you cross your heart and ensure to never trust again, to never love again. A heartbreak will hurt you the most – for years, maybe more. It will make you think life is meaningless, and it will make you think that maybe it’s all your fault – that maybe you’re not enough. It stays, like a demon – behind closed doors – waiting for you.

But one day, you will wake up – have your morning coffee – delete those photos – stand up – go out – and be okay again. You only realize why heartbreak is important when you have dealt with it and it’s after effects.

Let’s discuss the various ways people tend to move on from a heartbreak –

Grieve

Grieve, cry, let your heart split open into tiny little pieces. People don’t get it – but grieving is sometimes an integral part of letting someone go. You need to give yourself permission to grieve. Crying helps in letting the emotions flow and clear the stress away – maybe just a little bit – but it’s a start. People could grieve for as little as a few months and as long as a few years. Sometimes they can’t even forget the person – it’s just that they manage to survive in a world without them.

Self Love

The level of understanding your own self worth might come at a later point after you have had a heartbreaking experience, but when it does you’ll know that “you deserve better“. And that’s all it takes to grow the self love inside you and get motivated to work on yourself. The hurt and the grief might be too much, but you shall remember to not waste life on a story that’s over. Many people said that self love and understanding self worth helped them move on quite quickly from even the worst of breakups.

Fake it

Some people tend to just act normal and act okay while they’re not. They try to fake it with people – as much as they could. They talk more and laugh with friends and stuff during the day, but when the night arrives – that’s the most vulnerable time for them. The memories come crashing back and hit you like a train. No more fake acts of happiness or of being okay, and it’s the worst kind of feeling – like being in a dark, black room full of evil laughter and negative beings and you don’t know which one would kill you first.

Rebound

A rebound relationship is when you get attached or in a relationship with some other person just to take the easy way out (which some believe it to be). Although, research shows that it might work. But many people do it to just not deal with the pain of a serious relationship ending, alone. They choose a person within a few days or months of a hard hitting breakup to just help themselves move on. I am sure not everyone, but most. It could end up in a disaster not just for you, but for the other person when they learn that they’ve been used as a way of avoiding the grief from your previous relationship.

“Second (or Last) Chances”

Being back with your ex – with whom you have shared everything before – from your soul to your mind to your body can be a hefty and risky task. But many people do have it and it works too. But what if the other person or maybe even subconsciously, you too are letting this happen just because you can’t let go.

But there’s an exception – Some people tend to go this way just to try, really try to be back with each other and give it a second chance (it’s a rare case, but it happens) while there are also cases wherein a person gets inside the chaos once again to clear it out once and for all. They get in their with the one person that destroyed them emotionally just to remember “why they need to move on” and “why they don’t deserve them“.

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Conclusion – Why Heartbreak is Important

Dealing with heartbreak is tough, especially when it’s the fist time you’re experiencing that amount of pain and hurt. I know it as I have had the experience. But you need to remember that it will heal. Either on it’s own or with the help of someone. And you will understand why heartbreak is important and why everyone needs to experience it once in life.

Do you have a heartbreak story you want to share? Comment down below or Contact us to let it all out!

That’s All Folks!